My Brinley

Ever since she was growing inside of me, I have worried about my sweet Brinley. When I was pregnant I bled the entire time and a part of me was too scared to get attached to her because of how unknown her future was. At that time I had NO idea what the future was going to hold and about any of the challenges with her health that we were going to encounter. Had I known, I probably would have relaxed a lot more. I am having very similar symptoms with this pregnancy and the past has taught me to just trust in the Lord and enjoy every single moment.

When she was about 10 months old Brinley had a severe anaphylaxis reaction and was gasping for air in the back seat of our 4-Runner. Miraculously we were actually driving in front of an Emergency Room when it happened. I am convinced that there is no quicker way through an ER waiting room then for a father holding a limp infant to yell, 'She can't breathe!' Then of course her Kawasaki's Disease that literally altered the way we look at life and impacted our faith forever. Over the course of Brinley's life I have kneeled beside her more times that I like to remember to plead with the Lord to preserve her life. When she was on life support after being diagnosed with Kawasaki aneurisms a second time, I remember bargaining with God. I told him that I would accept any trial, challenge, hardship, you name it, just as long as he would let me keep my daughter. I remember thinking that even if we were left with severe brain damage as a result of it taking so long to resuscitate her that I would gladly accept Brinley that way and continue to mother her the best that I could. I had no idea what state she would wake up in or even if she would wake up. I did know that whatever Brinley's life would add to mine that I would be grateful for everything - including the trials.


Moving to Texas has presented us with a set of challenges that I never even considered we would have. To say that Brinley has not adjusted well would be an understatement. This has really been hard. Somehow, aspects of this particular challenge with Brinley have been harder on me in the sense that I feel some responsibility. Like, somehow because this has to do with her on an emotional spectrum that I should be able to control it and fix it. Unlike with her health complications that were completely out of our control, there is a certain part of what is going on with her now that I have to wonder was preventable.


Brinley has been experiencing extreme anxiety ever since we moved here. She has always been a very introverted little girl and shy to boot. We had a very consistent close knit group of little friends in Kentucky and her school was also small. She started going there in K3 and was with the same core group of kids in her class for 3 years. They literally grew up together. She was so comfortable with our little life and really blossomed there.




Brinley has cried a lot. She has begged to go home. She has had literal attacks of panic where she is trying to catch her breath. She doesn't really eat anymore and in the 3 months that we have lived here she is constantly complaining of stomach pain, nausea, and has abscessed like ulcers lining the inside of her mouth. Her stress that she is feeling has literally manifested itself physically. The problem only intensified 100 fold when the school year started 3 weeks ago.  The school that we enrolled her in is public and also in our neighborhood. In fact, we bought this particular house because it was in a great school district and we heard absolutely fantastic things about the school. The first few weeks have been so hard and every morning the administrators at the school have had to take her out of my arms kicking and screaming. Before we would leave for school in the mornings she normally goes into the bathroom and throws up a bunch of bile and just lays on the floor asking if she can please stay home. I have watched my bubbly, full of life little girl go from loving school and learning to literally screaming that she HATES school every single day. She has withdrawn herself socially too. Primary has even started to become a struggle. Being around large groups of kids makes her so nervous that she throws up and just cries.

We have talked to her a lot the way she feels and tried everything the experts and doctors have suggested. Last week her health problems got so bad that it required medical intervention and she is now on a prescription for her stomach problems and mouth ulcers. John and I decided that our family could no longer live like this and we had to find a solution.

I seriously considered homeschooling her. I thought that her education is more important than her social development at this point so at least we could focus on developing her on an intellectual level. Well, John and I decided to pray about our situation and I just felt prompted to look into other school options in our area. I found the most amazing private school in our area. It is very small and teaches Christian values along with an accelerated curriculum.

The have a classic approach to education and are a trilingual immersion school with Latin, Spanish and English. Brinley's particular class only has 7 children in it and does a ton of music and art throughout the day. So, we have made the decision to transfer her out her public school and try out this small private school. She starts Monday and I am just praying, hoping, wishing, and begging that this works for her. I do not know how many more emotional breakdowns I can see her have. I need her to be happy again and most of all healthy again.

This was a really tough decision but I feel good about it. Brinley is so excited to start her new school and even loved her new teacher and class that she met on Friday. She said that she feels calmer there and it reminds her of Gateway. She is even excited about wearing a uniform again.

I am so grateful that we live in a country where we have options and the choice about how our children are educated. I realize that not all kids are the same and one size does not fit all.

 

 

 

 

A table for 4...

I am going to have a few of these posts out of order since I still working on our Disney World vacation posts. I did get Day 1 up today though! I figured my first post would be the pretty obvious BIG news.

I am expecting! We are pregnant with a HEALTHY little boy due in January. This has been a really long journey and I still feel like I have to pinch myself when I ever I look down and see that I am clearly pregnant. To call this little boy a miracle would be very accurate. We have had so many losses up to this point and struggled with secondary infertility for more than 3 years between Brinley and this little one that we had honestly given up. We discovered that we were pregnant this time with boxes up to our waists while we were packing up our life in Kentucky. I had a suspicion that I was but our biggest fear was that we would have another miscarriage and that it would occur in the middle of medical school graduation, moving to Texas, my cousins wedding and our trip to Disney World. A miscarriage is never convenient but this particular timing was REALLY inconvenient.

 

In fact, the day before we loaded up the moving truck John and I were sitting in the ARH Emergency Room with a doctor telling us this we were most likely miscarrying and to just follow procedure like the many times before. It's never a good sign when the doctor pulls back the curtain holding paperwork and the first thing he says is, 'I'm so sorry to tell you this...' He gave us the waiting game speech, told us to not get our hopes up and to return when the bleeding got heavier. However, this doctor was a man of faith and he said, "Never give up hope because medicine doesn't have the final word. God does." He probably has no idea how much that comforted me but I am eternally grateful for his sweet perspective and the gentleness in which he delivered such difficult news. Well, he was right. God does have the final say and it looks like a little boy will be joining the Pierson family in a few short months.

My pregnancy has not been with out complications but it is so worth every struggle. I am a high risk pregnancy and this little guy has given me my fair share of morning sickness. I am so blessed to not have HG but there have been several weeks where it's been hard to function. Every time I throw up I am grateful because it means that my hormones are high and the baby is healthy. I have had some pretty scary bleeding and cramping as well but each time I start to think the worst, it stops and my pregnancy continues. The other day I was so sick and laying down in front of the toilet and I caught myself thinking that I hated being pregnant. I got really mad at myself because I do not hate being pregnant. This is everything that we have been praying for, for over 4 years! I was hating the way I was feeling but not hating being pregnant.

Brinley is so excited to be a big sister. She can hardly contain her excitement and asks us every single day if the baby is coming yet. However, the day that we found out the gender was not a good day for her. She wanted a baby sister so badly and was devastated when the doctor told her it was a boy. Now, she is so thrilled and thinks having a brother would be better than a sister anyway. We'll take it.

We are so blessed. There are no other words to describe our situation other than blessed. I am grateful for the opportunity to be a mother to another little person and for Brinley to have a sibling.

Disney World Trip -Day 1

We made a promise to each other that when and if John graduated and matched that we would figure out to afford to go to Disneyworld as a celebration trip as a family. Brinley is obsessed with the Princesses and we knew it would be a dream come true for her. So, we figured out how to make it work and we went! John and I drove the moving truck together to TX and unloaded it. Set up our home here in Temple, then we took a one-way flight to SC to pick up Brinley and the Camry and we were off to Disneyworld. Looking back on the few weeks after graduation just make me exhausted. We had so much to do and did it so quickly!

Anyway, here are some pictures from Disneyworld. We were there for 3 nights and 4 days. We stayed at one of the resort hotels and we really feel like we got a good deal. Well, as good of a deal as you can get at Disney. Holy heck, that place is expensive. However, we gave Brinley the trip of a lifetime and it was unbelievably worth it.

  The First Day 

John and Brinley lived in the lazy river

Brinley with Lilo

A princess and her Daddy

 We did Typhoon Lagoon which is a really fun water park at Disney world and then we went to the Magic afterwards to have dinner and see the parade and fireworks. We drove in from SC that morning so we figured we wanted a more 'relaxed' day so we did the water park on our first day. There is another water park called Blizzard Beach that our agent said is really awesome too but generally older kids enjoy it more. We were going to check it out also but we were pretty busy the other days!

 

 

Brinley did it!

We chose to send Brinley to Gateway Christian School. It was an amazing choice for our family and I am so glad that we sent her there for K3, K4, and K5. She had her graduation last week and it was just such a cute program! I took tons of pictures with my actual camera but I can't even pretend to know where that memory card is amongst the moving madness. Here are a few picture that I stole from some friends and that we had on our phones. Go Brinley! 1st grade here you come! 

This year she successfully learned how to read, write cursive, add and subtract small numbers, and memorized so many scriptures perfectly, learned lots of bible stories, and about many cultures and countries. She struggled most of the year with everything other than memorizing scriptures but towards the end of the year everything else just clicked.

  

Brinley and Alex :) 

Brinley on the first day of school each of her 3 years there. 

We did it!!

John graduated! He is a Doctor officially! He took the oath and everything. I couldn't be more proud. It's been a long journey and a hard one at that. I believe that it doesn't just take 4 years to grown a Dr. so you can learn everything you need too, but also so you can appreciate what a sacrifice and realize what an accomplishment it honestly is. I'm glad we decided to really LOVE medical school and live the journey instead of surviving it (don't get me wrong there were a lot of times it felt like we weren't even surviving but merely on life support) Mostly though, medical school seemed a whole lot more tolerable and fun. Now that we are entering the real world, I am kind of dragging my feet about it. Residency is going to be great too, I know it. However,  I am still adjusting to the idea and need a little bit of time. 

Graduation day was super stressful to be honest. It was an incredibly long day. It started with me up super early getting ready and finishing up the last minute things for the graduation parties that day. The actual ceremony was great and I was a blubbering mess watching him being hooded. I cried even more as I hugged so many friends goodbye one last time, and I was sobbing when John handed me a diploma that said 'Doctor of Patience' and told me that he was a doctor because of me. So many emotions filled me that day and I am pretty sure that my tears flowed down the streets of Harrogate along with down pouring rain.

After the graduation we did a luncheon with our best friends from school and their families. We grilled burgers and dogs and indulged on yummy sides. I wasn't really hungry at all. I had a knot in my stomach which really took me by surprise. I thought I would be jumping for joy to be getting away from that place but instead I spent the weeks prior fighting back tears and this day was particularly the worst. When Deke left first and I hugged him goodbye and so many memories flashed through my head. You see, these people became my family. We have been there together through some really tragic and unbelievably happy times. The bottom line is that medical school was the most beautiful time of our lives (yet challenging) and it's because of the people that shared their lives with us. 

We went to another graduation party that night that Taralyn's family threw and they were nice enough to honor us as well. I cried even more as I hugged so many of the locals goodbye. I can't say it enough, but the Cumberland Gap ward is special. The people are so full of love and such amazing examples of being Christlike behavior.I will never forget my time in that ward and I know we chose DCOM because we needed to meet the people there and learn from their examples. I really hope that the families that come after us realize what a blessing and privilege it is to be members of that ward and are open to all of the amazing things they can teach you. It may not be what you are used to but that doesn't mean it isn't correct or true. Christ's ability to touch the hearts of men is a marvelous work and most of the time it happens through his disciples. The Cumberland Gapers are disciples and love unconditionally just like Christ commanded. I will stop going on about what rockstars they all are, but just do yourself a favor and step back and listen to what they have to say instead of assuming they don't have much to say. 

Although exhausting both physically and emotionally, graduation day goes down in the history books for us. We packed up the house and moved away 3 days later (posts to come) and we are off to start another adventure. We did it! We survived and thrived through medical school! Wooohoooo! Congrats to the class of 2014! 

The Senior Banquet

DCOM holds a really fun banquet for the graduating class every year at the Stables in LaFollete. We rode with our sweet Sowby's. I'm not going to go on and on about what amazing people they are, but if you have been privileged enough to call them friends then you know what I am talking about. Getting to know them and love them over the last 4 years has been a wonderful opportunity and I know we will be friends forever.

We spent the night snacking on super yummy food and The Pierson's and The Sowbys tore up the dance floor for hours. Literally, we were like only 4 people on the dance floor till everyone loosened up a bit. It was a blast and I am going to remember this night for years to come as one of our favorite DCOM events. Way better than GALA ever thought about being.

The white coat burning ceremony

John has been talking about burning his white coat since the day we started medical school. He hates his white coat. He hates that his profession has to wear white coats because he feel like it is to make them stand out and look superior. He doesn't even want anyone to know he is a doctor let alone look like a doctor. John promises that once he is on his own and practicing he will not even own a white coat. I believe him. He is one of those guys that went into medicine because he believe the Lord called him to do it. He has never thought he was special for becoming a doctor or that it makes him better or smarter than anyone else. John has made me promise up and down that when someone asks me what he does for a living that I will just say "health care". That silly guy. He always says that the Lord isn't going to pat him on the back one day for being a physician. The Lord doesn't care what he does, He just cares that he does it with integrity.

On an unrelated note - can I just say that my Sunday's are NOT going to be the same without relaxing in the Sowby's backyard. Waaaaaaa! I'm being a big baby about leaving but I don't care. I love it here and I love my friends so much it's hard for me to make sense of life without this place.

Easter 2014

I love Easter.
I adore what it represents and I am thankful for the opportunity that it gives us to reflect on the Savior.
We did the usual dying of eggs and then hunting bright colored plastic ones stuffed with candy. Our family read a scripture each night the week leading up to Easter to help us focus on the importance of the day. The Mr. and I even had the opportunity to go the Louisville Temple on Good Friday. It had been way.to.long. since we were in the house of the Lord. I truly felt spiritually fed. What an amazing reminder of the good feelings and how important it is to keep this focus always.

All of these sweeties will always have such a special place in my heart. It has been a true honor and blessing to be apart of these kids lives and get to know them. I often remember how Ellis was just learning to walk when I first saw him and now he is talking about marrying Brinley one day. I love them all and my heart is so heavy when I think of not getting to see them daily. They have taught me so many things and give me glimpses of what it would be like to a house full of little chicks. I always joke that when our friends ask me to watch their kids that they think I am doing them a favor but in reality it is the other way around. I appreciate the chance to get to know them and love them. In so many ways I am closer to them then my own nieces and nephews and I think that is partly due to the fact that I have been involved way more. The Sowby's, Terry's, and Barnette's have been our family away from family. I think the majority of my tears are from knowing that I am leaving a little piece of my heart here when we move. Thank you all for allowing me to be a part of their lives and giving Brinley the opportunity to have such close friends.

 Happy Easter from The Pierson's.